Che cosa sono i Wal-Mart Dance Party?
Ma soprattutto: he cos’è il Wal-Mart?
Partiamo dal principio.
Wal-Mart è una catena multinazionale (USA, Canada, Germania, Messico…) di grandi centri commerciali.
Qualcuno la ricorderà per il documentario di Michael Moore “Bowling for Coloumbine”. Il regista nel suo film affronta la questione della violenza in America, e il centro commerciale vende munizioni nei suoi negozi.
Detto ciò passo ad illustrarvi cosa siano questi Dance Party, ma ormai penso si capisca.
Si tratta di feste estemporanee, incontri lampo, organizzati tra i punkers, sceneager e freak della zona, proprio all’interno di questi iper-mega-centri.
Solitamente la musica viene diffusa attraverso un iPod dotato di trasmettitore FM (accessorio disponibile con una spesa contenuta) agli stereo accessi nel reparto hi-fi, sintonizzandoli tutti sulla frequenza del lettore mp3.
Ecco le tre lezioni a riguardo che gli ideatori di questa forma di espressione creativa danno a tutti coloro decidano di cimentarsi in un Wal-Mart Dance Party:
What we learned:
We weren’t terribly organized on our first attempt. One of our friends brought an ipod w/ an iRok transmitter and a forward guard had tuned all the boom boxes to the same transmitter station. In the mean time, there was a gang of at least 25 punks, sceneagers and freaks hanging around the electronics section trying to figure out how to not look suspicious. Once all the boom boxes got tuned and we got “Safety Dance” going. they just came and shut off the power to the entire section.
Lesson 1: Don’t malinger beforehand unless you wear white trash disguises. There’s something not-so-terribly-believable about a large gathering of disheveled sceneagers and anarchists in black with mohawks, nose rings and tats on a group shopping trip in the Wal-Mart music section.
We had better luck at Target on our second stop. Amazingly, they didn’t have a section where you could listen to the boom boxes, so everyone pretty much just scattered around the electronics section, making the employees nervous. Finally, Big Balls just plugged a boom box in and wired the speakers. Unfortunately, the kid with the iPod didn’t make it, so we just put a CD in and turned it up. The party lasted longer at Target — about 2 minutes — before a lackey came and shut it down.
Lesson 2: Amazingly, even when you do have a large gathering of anarchists in black with mohawks, nose rings and tats on a group shopping trip at a big box store, it’ll probably just confuse the shit out of the staff. Also, Even if you have an iPod and an iRok, be sure to burn a CD of dance music you don’t mind losing when you get kicked out.
On our last attempt, we sent Brian in ahead by himself w/ a CD that he loaded into one of the larger boom boxes while we all waited out in the parking lot. He called from his cell phone when he was ready and we all filed in (note the Spinal Tap entrance on the VIDEO). This was, by far, the best technique. The employees in the electronics department didn’t have time to get ready for us and the party lasted for almost 3 minutes. And when they came to shut the boom box off, they couldn’t figure out which one it was.
Lesson 3: Sending someone ahead was the best method by far. Even if security sees your entourage entering en masse, they won’t really know what to do and you’re not doing anything illegal, yet. They also won’t know where you’re going, even if they suspect you’re there to steal or do something obnoxious. If your style is out of step with big box couture, it’s also likely that security will be afraid of appearing to profile you, and you can use that to your advantage. Getting apprehended by security while doing something innocuous is also a great to find out who the undercovers are just in case you need to do some shopping later.
In conclusion, I highly reccomend Wal-Mart/Target/Big Box dance parties to any and all.



Ora non rimane che organizzare un Carrefour Dance Party, oppure un Esselunga Dance Party.
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